Some women feel that taking time for themselves is being selfish. They think that taking time for themselves takes away from their family, friends, jobs, hobbies and relationships. For many years I felt the same way, until I realized that temporarily closing for my own personal maintenance, allows me to be more emotionally and physically available for all of the other duties in my life. Like many of you, in our daily lives we wear several hats: sister, aunt, daughter, friend, mom and the list goes on and on. But, how do we completely allow ourselves to be present in the different roles and relationships without taking time for our own personal care and needs? How can you fill someone else’s tank if yours is empty?
What is self-care? Self-care is the care and cultivation of self. Self-Care is focusing on the needs of the spirit, soul and the knowledge of self.
How do you care for yourself? The first step of caring for yourself is understanding the needs of self from within. Yes caring for your outer appearance is important and it is helpful, but, real self-care starts with self-reflection. I like to correlate my self-care with soul searching; identifying the needs of the heart, mind, spirit, and body.
How do I implement self-care without becoming selfish? The first step is healthy boundaries, people should know when it’s “your” time. The second step is eliminating people who think, by you caring for your needs you are selfish. (Okay don’t remove them from your life) lol 😂🙈. But, really evaluate their role in your life. Because someone who does not want you to be your best self, does not have your best interest at heart. They are selfish for not understanding that in order to be there for them, you have to first be there for yourself. Ultimately self-care is realizing that it’s not your job to explain to others why you have to take care of your needs.
Okay now let’s talk implementation. Once you take the assessment below or self-assess, it’s time to create an action plan. Your plan for implementation should be realistic and something that you can incorporate into your daily life. Start off with mini self-care, which can consist of tools that you incorporate into your day (prayer, music, positive affirmations, audio books, journaling, walking, and podcasts).
All of these self-care tools can be done within 5-10 minutes. Taking moments of your day where you focus on yourself and your needs will increase mindfulness, happiness, positivity, positive social interaction and will create a feeling of overall tranquility, peace and joy. Starting off small will make this a more enjoyable time where you won’t see self-care as just another task or something you don’t have time to do. Self-care should be something planned and something that you look forward to not dread doing. Remember self-care is about each individuals’ own journey, what works for me may not work for you.
As a professional in the mental health field, where my days are spent helping others, it is essential that I have a plan on how I will be “Refueling and Refilling” myself to be prepared for the next thing. My motto on everything is to be “Present on Purpose”. I don’t want to be in a place, meeting or conversation where I am not focused or engaged, due to being exhausted or burnt out, because I have not taken the time to refuel. I must be my best self. Investing in me, prepares my mind, body and spirit for the next experience that life has to offer.
Take this self-care assessment:
Self-Care Action Plan:
I hope that you all enjoyed this entry and that you found it meaningful and took “what you needed”. This topic of self-care has been weighing heavy on me lately. We all need to stop and take a moment to think of our emotional needs and well-being. This is just me introducing you all to the idea of self-care, there is much more to come.
-xoxo TheGlamTherapist
For More information and resources contact theglamtherapist101@gmail.com
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